A poem from Jan 12, 2010

I wish I could have told you

I wish I could have told you:
You were the greatest father
The best daddy
The most wonderful papa

And it didn’t matter
How much money you made
How many orders you got
How often you could strike up the will to make calls

It didn’t matter
What mommy thought of you
What D***** thought you felt
Whether or not you had the snow shoveled before we woke up

I never cared if you messed up the pancake recipe
Only that you made them
And let me put on as much syrup as I wanted
(You always did)

I never cared if you bought the wrong brand of whatever
Only that you’d go out and buy it for me
Just ‘cause I asked
(You always did)

I never cared if you could get your book published
Only that you didn’t give up writing
And kept telling us stories
(You always did)

I never cared if you couldn’t take us all on a trip
Only that you wanted to
And that you’d spend time with us even just at home
(You always did)

I never cared if you couldn’t teach me math the way I needed to learn it
Only that you tried
And that you cherished the chance to try
(You always did)

I never cared if you could give me a ride or not
Only that you had my back
And would help me in a pinch
(You always did)

I never cared if we had the biggest house on the street
Or the most elegant one in the best neighbourhood
Or if we could pay our mortgage
I only cared that you were there living with us.

I wish I could have told you:
You did everything right.
Everyone was jealous that I had you as a dad.
If I were them: I would’ve been too.

I love you,
And I know you love me.
I just wish I’d had the chance
To tell you all of these things.